No news, so look at this kitten!

Since I'm still fighting the health stuff, my life is mostly about keeping pace and ensuring Precocious updates every day. (Thanks so much to Jason McDonald for helping with coloring to give me some pressure relief! I'm chipping away at the few remaining bits of owed work I took on before I kerploded thanks to him.) Very little time/energy is left to do much else, and that "else" is currently a massive house set-up maintenance project... and this surprise visitor. (You can click on most pics for larger versions.)

This cat is 50% tail. Photos can't do it justice.

The Paulsen family is full of super softies. If we see a kitten without a home we will try to help them. For example: One time I walked into my boss' office (back when I was doing website maintenance) and told him, "My mother saw a kitten behind Taco Bell. I have to go." He knew better than to try and stop me. (That's when we got Jerkcat, by the way.) When I pulled up to the new house late one night and saw a mother cat with kittens, no way I couldn't start feeding them and try to make their lives better.

I was feeding the strays, and then one walked inside! (Why wait for me to toss food when he could simply go up to the dish holding the chicken?) As you can see in those eyes above, both of us were very surprised and confused at this development.

He (well, we think it's a he) is starting to adjust to this fostering situation. Currently at kitty bi-polar state, starting half our interactions with a hiss/cry before conceding, "OK, I really want to be petted."

Giant ears. Big paws. Tail a mile long. Very lanky. Totally looks like a long coat coming in. This cat will grow up to be giant and MAJESTIC. (This photo courtesy of my mother.)

At peace (for now). He'll soon meet my other kitties, and then we'll see what happens.

Chrispy's kitties

I was asked if I'd do a commission of my cats drawn as Precocious characters - and it kinda threw me at first. My cats can certainly inspire GREAT characters, and I would love writing a comic use such characters - be it them or someone based on them - but I do have an aversion writing real-life associates into comics.  What if the comic is popular and runs for a few years - and what if something happens to one of my kitties. I'm not sure what I could do with the cat-inspired characters then. It'd be weird.

Well, I'm coming around. Maybe not a full-Precocizing, but I think drawing them as actual kitties might work. Anyway, none of those comicking issues matter for a one-shot commission. The thing holding that one up was me wondering if it would be weird or difficult to pull off.  But once that idea got in my head, I could NOT abandon it. I love these thought exercises, and I had to see it through!

So here are my kitties in the Precocious style.  I'll explain them all shortly.  They look different ages here, but the point of this sketchbook page was to find their look, not settle on a drawing concept or design. I can age or de-age them as needed.  I mean, it's not like it's all in sync. Root's the biggest one, but he's the second youngest.  If you're wondering, Cleo is around 10 (may be older, I'm not sure), Penny is 8, Root's about 5 and Little Stuff's coming up to a year and half old. Anyway, on to the kitties and my thoughts on them.

Cleo - She had a rough childhood, spending much of it as a loner, and even though she's had it calm and cushy for a while, she's still very skittish and distrustful.  She's smart, but also cynical.  Even when she wants to cuddle and be sweet, she's not entirely sure how. Get close to her and she's growl and hiss to scare you off - although she's not mean at all, and won't hurt you.  She's vulnerable and sweet when she lets her guard down. (She actually doesn't growl/hiss nearly as much as before - except to Root, but that's with good cause.) For her character, I had to scale back the darkness in her. She's all black, so I have to get creative.  I decided to depict her as the mopey one, wearing baggy clothes and telling most who get near her to leave her alone.

Penny - This *my* cat. I raised her, and I broke her. Penny is like looking in a feline mirror sometimes, as she's intensely neurotic and self-destructive. She has major anxiety issues and freaks out when anything changes, or someone she doesn't trust is around.  When she came out of the box at Animal Allies, everyone in the room gasped at how beautiful she was - but we were warned she LOVED to eat. They did not lie. This cat is all about food, and she's a copper-colored basketball. (Ok, not *that* bad - but that's the joke we use.)  For her design, I made her a neurotic nerdy type. She's merely chubby here, because cats can handle a lot of extra weight before they cease to be totally adorable - and I'd rather preserve her cuteness with huggable curves. I drew her short, but she's the size of a regular cat - maybe even a bit above average - it's just that Cleo and Root are giants.  Penny has tiny paws and a slightly shorter tail proportionately that the rest.  I should note that this one, the most damaged of all cats, is the one everyone in this house fights over. We have shared custody. I get Penny during the week. The tenant's son gets to care for her during the weekend.

Root - He wasn't always the jerkwad he is now. Well, he was always a jerk, but also used to have a loving side. Then my brother decided to start letting Root outside, about three years ago, and somehow the cat transformed. He started spraying after that, despite being neutered very early on, and he's become far meaner. He annoys Cleo (who could probably kick his butt if she wanted) and picks on helpless Penny. He rarely cuddles now, choosing instead to raise hell (or spray) until let outside again. Root kinda sucks, and he's affirmed my stance on not adopting male cats if given the choice. (Root was a rescue from an about-to-be-torn-down cat colony. We saved him because he was stupid and fell asleep in the open, even though he knew I was there as I'd already tried to grab him twice.) For his look, I decided to go the bully jock route. I'm not sure I'm sold on the jersey colors, but that's easy enough to switch around. He has big boy cat paws and that squinty lion stare to him at times.

Little Stuff - Whenever we adopt a kitten, mom calls it "Little Stuff." This time, the name stuck around. Fortunately, she has remained smaller than the rest. Again, this means's she's regular size - but Cleo and Root skew perspective. She's the baby of the house - another rescue, by the way - and a total kitten. Her favorite thing is to do acrobatics on her cat tower. She runs around the house for no reason, wants to play with everyone and is intensely curious. She's also brings out the only redeeming quality in Root, as he'll play with her, while Cleo and Penny want no part of it. She's a sweetheart too, and a total delight to have around.  So, yay, we have an undamaged cat. FINALLY! Mom, thank you for fighting off that other lady on the side of the road who wanted Little Stuff instead.  (My mother keeps a can of wet cat food in he car JUST IN CASE this stuff happens.) Little Stuff was easy to design. She is a young child - must be younger than the rest - and I gave her a cute and innocent look. (She gives you those big-eyed "What? Me?" looks every time after she causes some destruction.)

And now... FUTURE background characters!

Isn't this always the way things work? I scramble to get enough background characters for the latest strip, make the last post, take a loooooong nap and wake up... to find the forum finally came through for me! Now I suddenly have twice as many characters as available spots! I'm letting the first batch stay in the strip, but I wanted to reward the forum people for participating by sketching up their suggestions anyway. After all, it's only a matter of time before these folks will be called upon.



The sheepdog cameraman is actually the 5th background character I mentioned in the last post, so he will be appearing in the strip.

The ladies are a Wiemaraner and a Boykin Spaniel, based on a reader's pets. She asked for spaniel to appear younger than the other, and I probably went a little too drastic with that. Oops?

Another pet request came in the form of a black cat. The reader used the word "lucky" in his post and I decided to adopt it for the character, since black cats and luck are so intertwined.

Finally, I had a request for a leopard. When I grabbed a source image, I was amused at how apathetic the kitty looked and that ended up defining this character.

I've quite enjoyed designing all these new characters, and I may keep up with the fan requests even though I don't have a background character scheduled to appear in the strip for quite a while. I like the fun drawing challenge!

Hey, there's a cat here!

So my 5-day venture in DC has already turned into a 10-day stay thanks to little bro forgetting to announce he was going on vacation. WAY TO ABANDON YOUR CAT, LITTLE BRO! I was warned that the place was a mess, but I could not be prepared for the level of destruction I see. There's barely enough room set up a workspace!

Work today has to be laptop-associated. I finished coding the archive page for the new website, and I may even upload it later! Work involving art stuff will have to wait until I have the energy to clear some of this junk. I'm thinking a controlled fire is needed.

Parental Guidance

Last night, my mother was in a panic. She had let the cats out and they never came in. As the night went on, they she grew more anxious, swearing that she was hearing them meow and fight outside. Visions of predators taking them or neighbor cats luring them too far away filled her head. She vowed never to let the cats out again.

Yeah, she had shut them in a room upstairs. That is remarkably different than outside. Way to go, mom! Hey, at least she was home!

So here are some cartoon mommies! These mommies are much more on the ball than real life mommy is right now. Ivy is the mom who knows what's going on. She knows know the kids work and it's hard to put one past her. Sydney is also quite savvy, really. She just doesn't care. This woman never got the "be selfless" message at mommy school. Not that she's criminally selfish, mind you; she's just not selfless. No mommy of the year award for Sydney, but she won't be a FARK headline anytime soon...

I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

I AM A HUMAN BE - oh, shit!

As kids we watch a LOT of crap cartoons. We're little idiots who have yet to develop any sense of taste at all, nor have we lived long enough to recognize cheap gags and shoddy plotting when we see it. All of Hanna-Barbera was based on this principle. Only in hindsight do we realize how horrible those cartoons were, and then we start counting how many brain went unstimulated and cry. I used to love the Alvin and the Chipmunks moving, for cripe's sake!

But there is some stuff that you KNOW is wrong even then. The shining example of a cartoon so fucked up that even my ignorant fool of a child self knew has moved far beyond the crazy shit border was the Pound Puppies movie. Why, yes, it *was* a Hanna-Barbera production! The premise of the movie was that the Pound Puppies could be turned back into normal dogs by some magic or something. Hold on, I'm on the internet! I can find out more...

Research on Wikipedia tells me it's a magic artifact that gives them the "puppy power" to communicate with humans and, presumably, rip off Scrappy Doo. Another device de-anthropomorphized them into regular dogs who were evil. The climax happens as the sass-mouthed Pound Puppies go up against their own friends in generic canine form.

That's fucked up.

Listen, cartoon people, you can't have dogs running around on their hind legs, talking with people, singing songs, wearing clothes and acting as cartoon characters generally act... and then made them DOGS that run around on all fours barking like the mindless wastes that are real-live dogs. It is unnatural and wrong! Nose Marie should not be prancing along like a southern belle one minute and shitting on the rug the next!

When working with cartoon animals, one can only use so many species jokes before things go into the realm of the creepy. When Woodstock happily chowed down on turkey during the Peanuts Thanksgiving special, I was creeped out. The reason I kept my comic to doggies and kitties is because sentience can be a minefield. If every animal is capable of humanity, then characters casually eating hamburgers becomes some sick cannibalism. D.C. Simpson got around his love for tapping Noah's Ark in character design by making all his characters vegetarian, but still crossed the line over and over in Ozy and Millie. When Timulty, dressed as a knight and riding Millie like a horse, misspoke and threatened to "spay" Ozy instead of slay him, that made Millie's constant desire for a pony look downright well-adjusted by comparison.

When writing the first day of school story for Precocious, there is a strip where Suzette chases after Bud to deliver a heaping bowl of violence. Originally Bud shouted, "Down, girl!" The extension of that is, of course, "bad dog!" I decided not to go to that well in strip #3 and the final line has him screaming, "Ow! Ow! Ow! Bad touch!" That's *also* got some creepy connotations, but it's in the general dark humor section and not at the Animal-Human Confusion Ranch.

Everyone has their own tolerance level for such things. For instance, I think having Tiffany bat around a ball of yarn is just goofy enough to work. Roddy crossing one's path does tend to bring misfortune, but the black cat crossing one's path line would never occur in the Precocious world. Similarly, joking about Autumn in a hen house is rather confusing if you think about it. What would it be in Precocious; leaving a fox unattended in a KFC? Now it's incredibly racist!

But tonight I was watching Lost on DVD and that ugly lab Vincent was getting screen time. Vincent was walking around with his ugly tongue hanging out of his mouth and the usual dog expression, so I drew a canine mouth with its tongue hanging out. Soon, it turned into Autumn acting like a domesticated dog - which is even MORE inappropriate because foxes are not domesticated animals! She's doing the sit/shake/beg routine and I find it highly disturbing.

Man, I rambled for far too long about this. I intended to just mock Pound Puppies and run, but my sleeping pill has been slow to kick in. Oh well, at least I stopped myself before I went into the COMPATIBLE SPECIES essay again.

I hope you people are reading this!

I was going to put this at the end of my last post, but figured you'd be skimming and would likely miss it.

I'll be in DC for an extra week, returning next Sunday or Monday. I'll be needing some peer group bonding by then, so don't forget about me!

The reason I'm staying here is the same reason I was certain to be at home: The kitchen remodeling is entering its endgame and the epic finishing of floor is happening this week. This means no one can use the house for a week. Initially I was going to keep the cats with me downstairs while mom stopped by in the mornings to let the dogs out, but she was warned the fumes from the finished might cause further brain damage to our already dim pets. So, new plan! Mom will be living downstairs for the week with all the animals.

I had already committed to spending the next weekend in DC to allow my aunt to finally return home and spend some time in HER life, with her partner. For those not in the know, my aunt had come to visit my ill grandfather almost four months ago, thinking she was going to stay just a few days. Seeing that my grandmother was working herself to death to take care of my grandmother, my aunt knew she had to stay and help care for the caretaker. (I am one of three extra helpers who come periodically to help care for the one caring for the caretaker.) This is a well-earned visit home for my aunt and I am happy to fill in - even if I'm wholly useless in the house upkeep stuff.

Tomorrow I drive back to Winchester for a dentist appointment. Then it's gathering clothes, grabbing my precious lightbox to help me with comic creation, trying to fix my mother's laptop, grabbing an early dinner (anyone free?) and heading back to DC.

Thank you for suffering under my more-words-less-art recent blog trend.

Dreaming of black death

Yes, I did actually have a dream where I got infected with what I assume was the bubonic plague. Gee, I wonder why?



Mousie is still staying at Hotel Chrispy. For those wishing to view my little celebrity, time is running out. Since she's come back every time I released her in my yard, I'm going to do the old "drop off the dog at the county line and speed away" method this weekend. Would it be uncouth to show up for my volunteer session at Art at the Mill with a mouse in hand?

Anyway, as has become tradition, I did another mouse girl sketch. Check out that dynamic pose! She is not happy with her current situation.

Guess who's back... back again...

Mousie's back. Tell your friends!

This time I claim no responsibility in capturing her. She was smart enough to climb the shelf thing behind my desk to get to where I keep my downstairs food - kept there because, in theory, it would keep mice away - but dumb enough to get trapped in an old cereal box. For the record: The box wasn't closed properly because I had moved it aside to be tossed the next time I took out the garbage. I'm not a *complete* slob.

Anyway, I gave her a new habitat this time. The container is more transparent, allowing for enhanced cuteness viewing. It was also supposed to be a harder container for the mouse to chew through. Success was mixed. The structure does make it more difficult for gnawing, but I grabbed the lid with a crack by mistake - giving the mouse one spot in which she can wedge her teeth. Come morning, she had made a tiny hole. I clicked the cracked portion back into place, slowing her down, and stuck a straw through the hole. Now she sometimes swings on the straw. Aww!



So tell me, mousie, was the cereal worth it?

Another question: Is this really the same mouse? It's fun to think of it that way, but what about the evidence...



The picture on the right is of the "first" captured mouse, after my cat had nibbled on it a bit. The picture on the left is from my current captive. Granted, mice do tend to be chewed on at times, so this can't prove anything - but it *does* give me enough of a reason to claim I have a recidivist.

Chrispy 2, Mouse 0

As predicted, my pet mouse returned a few nights ago for more adorable action. This time, she was even more brazen about making this room her home. In addition to the usual scamper-bounce thing, she took up climbing. She would scale the busted ask speaker and run back down. She'd climb a bookcase, jump into a bag and climb back out for more exploring. She'd climb right up next to me and sit on my computer! Should I turn and speak to her, she'd bound back under the bed - but five minutes later she was again forging new frontiers.

As the cycle continued, it was time again for me to catch it! Earlier in the night, I had placed a peanut on the ground beside to see if she'd come up and take it. I turned away to do something else and looked back a minute or two later. The peanut was gone. So I placed a *second* peanut down. Again, she grabbed it so fast I missed her. OK then! My mouse loves her nuts!

It was time for a trap! While Chipotle had failed me so hard earlier, I still had the bag. In went a few peanuts and onto the floor it went. It took a while for the mouse to emerge again, but sure enough she went for the bag. She climbed it, ran around it, went under it - had I been a cat, the tip of my tail would have been twitching like a blender blade with the anticipation. Finally, she jumped in, grabbed her peanut and ran before I could get the bag. Curses!

But the *second* time she got greedy! Mouse - mine! like a good pet owner, I gave her a lovely place to live. I took my box of files (use: holding papers I probably need, but will never look at again) and emptied it to give her a home. She even got a water dish, some food and a cardboard tube for shelter. She enjoyed her new home for about five minutes. Then, just like in all relationships, the bitch went crazy!

A nimble gal, she would climb the sides of the box and crawl around the top, trying to find an escape route. Then, in a non-nimble way, she'd slip and fall. Into the water dish. She's scramble around, making a mess of the good home I gave her, before settling in her tube to hide in shame. Realizing there was no way out, she did the typical mouse thing and tried to gnaw her way through the hard plastic.

As it was 5am at this point (I took my sleeping pill at 1am, but sometimes it just doesn't work) I decided to let my mouse enjoy her home as I slept. By morning (my definition) she had made significant progress in her escape route, but had a long way to go. She had also made a huge mess of things by falling off the wall so many times, and that's when I decided to have mercy - but not before putting her in a clear plastic bottle to take photos! I think I earned a medal of freedom for that act of compassion.

Anyway, so ends the latest saga of the mouse. Check back in a few days, since I'm sure she will return.

Just for fun, I tried another mouse girl sketch. It should be noted that I did not use my mouse photos to help in drawing. This is because I'm a damned fool.

Disrupting the food chain

Look what I caught! That doesn't look like the sketch at all!

Last night, after celebrating a glorious day of football (FINALLY), I settled into my bed to read a bit before falling into the cylon-powered sleep cycle. (Three Battlestar Galactica dreams so far - all of which either had me helping the cylons or discovering I was a cylon. My subconscious is a villain.) Around 1am, the rustling began again. How cute!

But what followed the rustling was a loud crash and scrambling. My cats had been downstairs earlier, but I thought I'd sent them all back up to the surface before shutting myself off for the night. Clearly, I was wrong. A certain black cat of destruction - the hunter in the house - was down here and had found some prey.

The mouse made a valiant effort and escaped three attacks. The fourth, however, caught her trying to cut across open area. I jumped out of bed to find the mouse bouncing towards cover (cute) only to have the cat circle around and swat her back. My arrival distracted the kitty long enough for the mouse to break for the unsure cover of the Mario Kart Wii Wheel box. As the cat waited on one side, I watched the mouse poke her head out from the other... right next to the bag holding the digital camera accessories. I slid the bag over slightly and lifted the box. The mouse had no choice but to jump in as the cat lunged. Mwa ha ha!

Mousie looked a bit worse for wear, but seemed to have suffered more psychological damage than physical. I let her go outside. Sure, she's likely already back in the house - but for now I HAVE DISRUPTED NATURAL ORDER! Sorry, kittie, but I'd much rather have a live mouse running around than a dead one with parts spread to places unknown.

...and every day the rats eat a little more of my foot!

This is what I get for living in a basement.

Tonight has been the full brunt of the subterranean lifestyle. First, I was forced to bail water from the stairway leading to the basement because it was raining biblically hard (and the roof was dumping directly onto the stairway) that the drain couldn't handle everything. I managed to clear enough debris to get the drain working properly and prevent flooding.

THEN came the the real joy of living in squalor! As the weather gets cold, nature tends to sneak into the warm confines of the house. Naturally, my vermin peers ended up in the basement as well. Tonight, they got BOLD!

Early on I heard rustling. Uh oh. Later came the visual confirmation... as a mouse bounced around my bed! I saw it scurry off towards the TV... so it's a Battlestar Galactica fan, I guess. Or maybe not, since it chose to double back and CRAWL ON MY FOOT! My kicking only seemed to embolden it, as I caught it later wandering around behind me. I cornered it under the dehumidifier.

IT IS ADORABLE! Not as cute as the one I caught in the bathroom a while back. That one was black and the cutest mouse ever. This one was gray and only adorable. But she is my bedmate, so I should be thankful for any bedroom action no matter the definition. (Now I will call it a "she" because somehow it seems less gross. I don't know why.)

She got away (not that I was prepared to catch her) when I shifted my weight to get a better look. That was hardly enough to intimidate her, as she's been happily scurrying about as I type this post. I just gave her a scare by taking a flying leap onto my bed. This is called coping with one's environment. (She's already running about again! This is going to be adorable right up until my face is eaten in my sleep.)

Anyway, instead of just making mouse jokes alone, I figured I'd try to draw a cute cartoon mouse girl. It's my first ever, so be forgiving. I have zero intention of drawing anything but doggies and kitties, so moving beyond species is weird for me.

Edit: So it's 4am now and I've seen this mouse bouncing around this room without a care in the world. Oh, and I do mean bouncing. She's like a rubber ball, that mouse. SO CUTE! It's amazing what the creatures do during the hours humans should be asleep. (I didn't take my sleep meds today, 'natch. 4am + bottle of wine = not remotely tired. I flunk at life math.) I just had her walk right up next to me. I could have reached out and grabbed her if I wanted. Instead, I leaned over and asked, "What are you doing?" Off she went!

Oh, I even braved the night to wander out to the mailbox. Since today was marked by the cataracts of heaven, no one got the mail. Surprise: NEW NETFLIX DVD! Battlestar Galactica is seriously awesome. Lucy Lawless as #3 is proving to be a massively compelling character. Rock on, Xena!

Periwinkle: 3/17/1993 - 9/5/2008

Today was supposed to be a good day. It was a beautiful day, I was feeling great and the electrician was finally here to fix my lights. Today was the day I was going to sit down and begin making up for lost time in drawing my strip. Naturally, seeing that I was about to become happy, the universe chose to rip my heart out and stomp on it instead.

Today's events have left me absolutely devastated, incapable of anything but the most common analogies for sadness and heartbreak. I apologize for the weak literary merit of the post, and I hope you understand. I've been blindsided and coping is out of the question at this point.

Peri had started to look a bit ragged over the past few days, but I had chalked it up to her playing in the (dirty) dog pond. We have several tiny frogs (and the odd, late bloomer tadpole) living in the pond, and I'd caught Peri playing in the water before. Otherwise, she was the same as always: Sweet, loving and smart. When I was reading my book outside, she would come over and sit in my shadow, purring until she fell asleep. Even yesterday she was up to her old habits, begging me to turn on the kitchen faucet or to put ice cubes in her water bowl so she could bat them around.

But today mom discovered a spot of blood on the floor. Peri had started bleeding from her mouth. Our normal vet was away, so I had to drive her across town to a new place. On the way, Peri started to cry - something unusual for a cat who always had a loud purr for everyone, even the vets giving her shots! I dropped her off, talked to the vet and they said they'd give me a call once the results of the bloodwork were in. By the time I got home, they had already called. My mother was crying so hard she couldn't finish the sentence when she tried to talk to me. All I heard was, "she has cancer."

The vet had explained that this cancer was a fast-acting type. A mass had begun growing in Peri's mouth and rapidly expanding. We were told there was nothing that could be done. Not wanting her to suffer, we agreed that she had to be put down. I will likely hate myself for the rest of my life for doing this, but I couldn't see it happen. I couldn't take it, and had to sent my mother to sit with her during her final minutes.

This was *my* cat. I had picked her out and named her on the spot. I had insisted she be brought home with us when the rest of the family had chosen her brother, Striker. This cat had been my companion for more than half my life. I loved her.

Today was supposed to be a good day; the day when I started picking up the pieces and fixing my life. Now I can't stop crying.