The slow process of packing

Behold: Minimal progress!

I am slowly packing up things for my move to Savannah, and it's driving me mad. THIS is why I haven't had much to show here as of late. The more I "clean" the bigger the mess becomes! I have to pull everything out first, before I can start putting things away. It's also been a sobering reminder that I AM A GODDAMN SLOB. So. Much. Trash.

I have a few weeks left to finish sorting through 15 years of memories and crap. Wheeeee.

Back for more, eh?

As anticipated, the bold mouse found his way back into the house. As he did not anticipate, I AM THE GREAT MOUSE HUNTER!

Your folly came in your boldness mouse! I was reacquainted with him as he walked up next to me, having climbed to the top of the mini fridge to investigate some hot dog buns. I moved even close - so close I could have easily reached out and grabbed him - and he calmly backed off. No running; just a "Eh, I suppose I should move" thing.

Ok, fine! I had a bag of stale tortilla chips I was going to throw out, so the trap was ready. Hot dog buns and tortilla bag got switched. Five minutes went by. Mr. Bold came right back to investigate, hopped in the bag and became my captive again!

Just like before, he did NOT take it well - throwing himself against the sides of the bag, trying to jump out and doing his best to gnaw through the thing. No animal with that lust for freedom would make a good pet, so I had to release him again. Obviously, the wood pile wasn't going to keep him away, so I had to trek him out further! This time I went all the way to the edge of the property before setting him free. If he wants back to my house, he'll have to run a long ways to get there.

(He'll probably be back anyway.)

I should have some actual Precocious stuff to show you tomorrow, but tonight I felt my tale of aggressive vermin was fun enough for sharing. *I* think it's entertaining...

Mousecapades

In yet another triumph of man over nature, I have successfully capture another mouse!

It seems mice all have their hours of activity, and this charming fellow loves the midnight hour. The few nights since his first appearance have been full of mouse sightings, as he seemed to get bolder and bolder. Every few minutes, he'd bounce around the room doing mousey things. Cute! Last night, right on time, we started noticing a little blur darting back and forth. It was time to swing into action!

Going with the same method that netted me the last invader mouse, I grabbed a convinient Chipotle bag, threw a dab of peanut butter in the back and laid it where the mouse tended to hang out. Sure enough, he popper right out, skittered over to the bag and jumped inside. *swoop* VICTORY!



I dropped the mouse into an old cashew container to take victory photos. This was quite ok for the mouse - after freaking out a bit, he was happy to nibble on cashew crumbs! It was very adorable, and he was surprisingly tiny for what we had expected. Double cute! Once his capture was recorded for posterity, we took him outside to the back shed and let him go. (I'm sure he'll be back soon, but for now it's a win!)

Proud of ourselves, we returned to Chrispyland and settled in for a night of pokemon. One hour later, my friend looked up... "MOUSE!"

Remember how I said that one guy was crazy bold? Remember how I said he was smaller than expected? That would be because we had TWO mice tag teaming the room! This one was much bigger than tiny - and, unfortunately, a lot smarter.

The peanut butter bag went back out, and mouse2 again went for it. Once problem: He ended up approaching the bag from behind! Instead of going inside the bag, he tried to get to the peanut butter from the rear, pulling the bag around and freaking himself out in the process. Away he ran! I used the opportunity to change the direction of the bag, but all that did was alert the mouse that something was up.

He would approach the repositioned bag, peak in and RUN AWAY! Over and over he did this. Finally, he decided to take the bait, and tentatively slipped inside. It was my time to shine again! I snuck up, reached down... and my finger lightly brushed the bag while I was getting into position. That's all it took. FWOOSH! Mouse was gone in a flash and I had failed to clear my house of mouse. He'd return to the bag a few more times before his hour was up, but he made sure to stay away from the opening of the bag at all costs. I had tipped him off, and he wasn't going to fall for again.

I know your hours, mouse, so come 1am that bag is going back out. I'll try one more time. (I'm down to one bag.) If I fail, I'm calling him a pet and moving on with my life.

UPDATE: Chrispy:2 Mice:0



I can only barely take credit for this one. The dumb mouse trapped himself in my broken dehumidifier! Whatever, it's still a win! Once transferred to the cashew container, this one proved to be quite the fighter. He was not content to nibble on nut dust! Poor guy was bouncing around trying to find some way out, and being very rude about holding still for a photo. I let him go at the same place tinier mouse was released. Maybe they can form a support group.

It must be that time of the year again

I have spotted another mouse running around my room! That means it's time to attempt another mouse girl drawing! It's my way of celebrating the fact that I apparently live in squalor.

I wonder if I can catch this one like I did the last visitor...

Hey, there's a cat here!

So my 5-day venture in DC has already turned into a 10-day stay thanks to little bro forgetting to announce he was going on vacation. WAY TO ABANDON YOUR CAT, LITTLE BRO! I was warned that the place was a mess, but I could not be prepared for the level of destruction I see. There's barely enough room set up a workspace!

Work today has to be laptop-associated. I finished coding the archive page for the new website, and I may even upload it later! Work involving art stuff will have to wait until I have the energy to clear some of this junk. I'm thinking a controlled fire is needed.

My wall is awesome!

I felt leaving my bite-sized paintings stacked up did not do them justice, so why not throw them all up on my wall! It's like a gallery designed by a mental patient! (Click the image for a larger version.)

Also, note bite-sized paintings #13 and #14 have been started! I CAN'T BE STOPPED!

The copyright info is in Franklin Gothic again!

That means I'm home! (It's Impact or Rockwell when I'm on the road.)

There will be little unwinding here in the immediate future, unfortunately. After a month of being converted to an animal/idiot/both sanctuary, my studio needs to be set up anew - a daunting task for someone as mentally drained as I.

Let's do the rundown. Moron brother has entered his 922nd consecutive day of being "sick" when asked to do work, so my grand welcome home came in lots of heavy lifting with garbage and a trip to Costco for the heavy lifting of garbage-to-be. Moron brother apparently lost one of the packages containing an order from Amazon.com, so I might have to fight the system to replace the lost goods in my future. Moron brother's definition of cleaning is, "move stuff from one surface to another surface around the corner," so you can guess what my room is like right now. Moron brother was also force to move back home, so all this stuff is strew about, adding much to the ambiance here. Moron brother's irresponsibility with my mother's credit card has forced our family to cancel Christmas to deal with the debts he's accumulated. Man, life SUCKS over here. I wonder if there's one common element that is causing all this dysfunction...

Tonight my plan is simple: Focus my stress into an eating disorder (the fat, unsexy one), break out the alcohol my brother hasn't consumed yet (he consumed a bottle of whiskey and tequila, both purchased by me, while here), and devote my life to TV on DVD. I have many options! I watched Lost season 1 while in DC, and season 4 was in the packages waiting for me, so I could continue and watch the new three seasons back to back to back. Black Friday was good to me in that I got all of Battlestar Galactica on DVD for half price, so I could start on that again. I have the first three discs of The Wire season 2 from Netflix FINALLY! The system failed me and sent the last discs first, so only now do I get to watch in order. Mom bought me the John Adams series on DVD as a gift, so that's there as well. Basically, I'm set for a piece of performance art wherein I will be playing the role of a shut-in.

As for the SKETCH, which has been ignored so far, I was feeling really sick last night and couldn't stop drawing... happy characters? Ok, whatevs. Most of drawings, being done through fever and fatigue, were crap and incomplete - but the Jacob one was close enough that I could fix the major errors (proportions) with Photoshop. The book is my joke on his corny smile. Anyone worth their salt should get the reference. If you don't, WHY DIDN'T YOU COME OF AGE IN THE 90'S LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!?!?!

Update edit: Amazon had agreed to replace my lost package. Yay! I eschewed DVDs for DVR and I'm watcing the Survivor finale/reunion. (Any non-Matty, non-Susie winner is fine by me. Sugar totally should have won, though.) I think I will go Wire after this, since Netflix must miss me by now! The goal is to drink myself into submission and stay up as late as possible so I sleep through the workers tomorrow. (Re-edit: Yes, I realize drinking myself into a stupor is not conducive to watching the ultra-complex The Wire, but I AM A GENIUS! My brain may be smart even when addled by CLASSY LIQUEURS! Or... I could watch the braindead Heroes episode I missed while in DC.

The Paulsen Wildlife Sanctuary

BEES!



Such is life in plague-a-day land! So far we've dealt with the biblical onslaught of terrors such as cute vermin, construction workers, my brother and bees. What's next for God's wrath? My bet is ambitious raccoons making their home inside our walls.



Check it out: Exterminator dude found the queen! Her she is next to a minion for comparison. We've hit the colony with biological weapons, destroyed their infrastructure and paraded their dead leader about for our own amusement. HOW AMERICAN IS THAT? USA! USA! USA!



Exterminator dude said we had the largest nest he'd ever seen. This is not to be confused with the last times yellow jackets made a bold real-estate venture into our neighborhood. What does that say about my family that we ignore these problems until hundreds of bees begin to rain down upon us, coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE! We watched them zoom around all summer thinking, "Hey, cool! It's nature!" What could possibly go wrong?

I tried to sneak up next to the action and take some close-ups, but that venture was thwarted after my unrestrained hair became a net for buzzing bastards. It's the hip new accessory people! After getting my buddies to tag along, I backed down before disaster could strike.

Covering myself in bees for attempted bad photography = cute.
Getting stung repeatedly by bees for bad photography = stupid.

Guess who's back... back again...

Mousie's back. Tell your friends!

This time I claim no responsibility in capturing her. She was smart enough to climb the shelf thing behind my desk to get to where I keep my downstairs food - kept there because, in theory, it would keep mice away - but dumb enough to get trapped in an old cereal box. For the record: The box wasn't closed properly because I had moved it aside to be tossed the next time I took out the garbage. I'm not a *complete* slob.

Anyway, I gave her a new habitat this time. The container is more transparent, allowing for enhanced cuteness viewing. It was also supposed to be a harder container for the mouse to chew through. Success was mixed. The structure does make it more difficult for gnawing, but I grabbed the lid with a crack by mistake - giving the mouse one spot in which she can wedge her teeth. Come morning, she had made a tiny hole. I clicked the cracked portion back into place, slowing her down, and stuck a straw through the hole. Now she sometimes swings on the straw. Aww!



So tell me, mousie, was the cereal worth it?

Another question: Is this really the same mouse? It's fun to think of it that way, but what about the evidence...



The picture on the right is of the "first" captured mouse, after my cat had nibbled on it a bit. The picture on the left is from my current captive. Granted, mice do tend to be chewed on at times, so this can't prove anything - but it *does* give me enough of a reason to claim I have a recidivist.

Disrupting the food chain

Look what I caught! That doesn't look like the sketch at all!

Last night, after celebrating a glorious day of football (FINALLY), I settled into my bed to read a bit before falling into the cylon-powered sleep cycle. (Three Battlestar Galactica dreams so far - all of which either had me helping the cylons or discovering I was a cylon. My subconscious is a villain.) Around 1am, the rustling began again. How cute!

But what followed the rustling was a loud crash and scrambling. My cats had been downstairs earlier, but I thought I'd sent them all back up to the surface before shutting myself off for the night. Clearly, I was wrong. A certain black cat of destruction - the hunter in the house - was down here and had found some prey.

The mouse made a valiant effort and escaped three attacks. The fourth, however, caught her trying to cut across open area. I jumped out of bed to find the mouse bouncing towards cover (cute) only to have the cat circle around and swat her back. My arrival distracted the kitty long enough for the mouse to break for the unsure cover of the Mario Kart Wii Wheel box. As the cat waited on one side, I watched the mouse poke her head out from the other... right next to the bag holding the digital camera accessories. I slid the bag over slightly and lifted the box. The mouse had no choice but to jump in as the cat lunged. Mwa ha ha!

Mousie looked a bit worse for wear, but seemed to have suffered more psychological damage than physical. I let her go outside. Sure, she's likely already back in the house - but for now I HAVE DISRUPTED NATURAL ORDER! Sorry, kittie, but I'd much rather have a live mouse running around than a dead one with parts spread to places unknown.

...and every day the rats eat a little more of my foot!

This is what I get for living in a basement.

Tonight has been the full brunt of the subterranean lifestyle. First, I was forced to bail water from the stairway leading to the basement because it was raining biblically hard (and the roof was dumping directly onto the stairway) that the drain couldn't handle everything. I managed to clear enough debris to get the drain working properly and prevent flooding.

THEN came the the real joy of living in squalor! As the weather gets cold, nature tends to sneak into the warm confines of the house. Naturally, my vermin peers ended up in the basement as well. Tonight, they got BOLD!

Early on I heard rustling. Uh oh. Later came the visual confirmation... as a mouse bounced around my bed! I saw it scurry off towards the TV... so it's a Battlestar Galactica fan, I guess. Or maybe not, since it chose to double back and CRAWL ON MY FOOT! My kicking only seemed to embolden it, as I caught it later wandering around behind me. I cornered it under the dehumidifier.

IT IS ADORABLE! Not as cute as the one I caught in the bathroom a while back. That one was black and the cutest mouse ever. This one was gray and only adorable. But she is my bedmate, so I should be thankful for any bedroom action no matter the definition. (Now I will call it a "she" because somehow it seems less gross. I don't know why.)

She got away (not that I was prepared to catch her) when I shifted my weight to get a better look. That was hardly enough to intimidate her, as she's been happily scurrying about as I type this post. I just gave her a scare by taking a flying leap onto my bed. This is called coping with one's environment. (She's already running about again! This is going to be adorable right up until my face is eaten in my sleep.)

Anyway, instead of just making mouse jokes alone, I figured I'd try to draw a cute cartoon mouse girl. It's my first ever, so be forgiving. I have zero intention of drawing anything but doggies and kitties, so moving beyond species is weird for me.

Edit: So it's 4am now and I've seen this mouse bouncing around this room without a care in the world. Oh, and I do mean bouncing. She's like a rubber ball, that mouse. SO CUTE! It's amazing what the creatures do during the hours humans should be asleep. (I didn't take my sleep meds today, 'natch. 4am + bottle of wine = not remotely tired. I flunk at life math.) I just had her walk right up next to me. I could have reached out and grabbed her if I wanted. Instead, I leaned over and asked, "What are you doing?" Off she went!

Oh, I even braved the night to wander out to the mailbox. Since today was marked by the cataracts of heaven, no one got the mail. Surprise: NEW NETFLIX DVD! Battlestar Galactica is seriously awesome. Lucy Lawless as #3 is proving to be a massively compelling character. Rock on, Xena!