Sunday, January 17, 2010

The path to victory

No pretty picture today. It's been one of those days when you could put a gun to my head, demand I draw a cartoon critter and promptly blow my brains out with disappointment as I failed again and again. That's not to say I haven't been doing anything. I did finish a comic, which means my basic obligation to the world has been filled. Victory! I just didn't produce with pizazz today.

Maybe I have a lot on my mind. I'm starting the push for grad school - finally - and the anxiety conquers all! There's no doubt that I'm grad school gold - I'm dedicated, talented and hungry to learn more! The problem is this is the *recent* me. The me before the ADHD diagnosis and treatment wasn't the most reliable person, and HIS damn transcripts are going to travel with mine. I hate that guy!

I dream of getting into SCAD's sequential art program, which makes every step of the way THAT MUCH MORE IMPORTANT! NO FRIGGIN' PRESSURE OR ANYTHING! I want to do Precocious for a living, and I know it has the potential to take me there. What I need is help in refining my technique and LOTS of learning on the business side of things. (Note to self: Get hot art management girlfriend ASAP!) I also need the art boost that comes with being surrounded by one's peers. Sure, the webcomickers on Twitter are nice, but nothing can replace the wonderful feeling of working in a studio with other awesome artists. One day I will be art commune cool!

At the moment I am succeeding in spite of myself. This is why all my updates and projects move so slow - everything I do must be 100% self-motivated. Daily updates are the test of my willpower, and sometimes there's nothing left in the tank to do the website upgrades or t-shirt designs. (I tried and failed some more with those today. Blah!) Some days motivation just isn't enough. I hate those days, but I can't be awesome all the time, can I?

Now that I'm heaping even more onto my plate - FREAKOUT ENSUES! Today I didn't handle it well. Too much took priority - I need to write some very important letters, I need to write my statement of purpose, I need to write and draw a Copper Road, I need to write a blog, I need to update the cast page, I need to keep Precocious going - I sorta shut down with it all.

Tomorrow starts a new day, one in which I will be good and break things down into digestible chunks. Precocious is covered. Copper Road can wait a day if it must. The website updates can wait another day. The blog might even get sacrificed for a day. I have to focus on what is the most important - which is ALWAYS the hardest stuff to do. Basically, tomorrow is gonna SUCK!

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