Hopping on the bandwagon!

Well, at least ONE Pennsylvania team isn't making the Super Bowl. I can't bear to watch the other game unfold, as I don't think things are going well. I'm trying not to check in, as the Ravens only seem to score when I turn off the TV. Yeah, yeah, I know. I see it this way: If a stupid sports fan superstition means I don't watch a team I like lose against a team I despise - alright! If they win, I will still be happy! Yay ignorance!

I do seriously enjoy that the widely-proclaimed "worst team to ever make the playoffs" is going to the Super Bowl. Suck it, haters! If every team I root for shit the bed this season, I might as well root for the best story.

Instead of the game, I am watching Big Love from On Demand! The plan is to ink a pile of strips. If accomplished, it would put me two weeks ahead!

Edit: I caved and checked on the game. Sure enough, that was when Flacco finally realized he was a rooking and make sure all jackasses in the area are happy. I HATE WHEN AWFUL PEOPLE ARE HAPPY! If only we had gone to Buffalo Wild Wings... that could have reversed the jinx! Or is that only when Dana is there? I BLAME YOU, DANA! Man, it's hard to keep track of nonsensical superstitions. Anyway, I hope someone finally goes through with my plan and paves over all of Pennsylvania. We need the parking space more than the people. Just sayin'...

The age of punters...

In football, no one appreciates the kickers. They are just weird people who hang around to do one thing; and they keep inviting teammates to parties even though no one ever comes. (This is why I went with Suzette for the sketch.) Many of them are so misguided, they started life playing the *other* football. It's like they got confused, wandered into the wrong stadium and the couch said, "Hey, why not?"

The theme of the playoffs so far: PUNTERS ARE GODS! Last night Mike Scifres was unpronounceably good, pinning the Colts next to the end zone all game. Today, Sam Koch wrecked the Dolphins' self-esteem all day with uncanny skill in pinning them deep. Must be the creatively-spelled names. ("Ciphers and Cook were our slave names!") While the Ravens ended up dominating the Dolphins in nearly every aspect, field position was the only thing holding Peyton Manning at bay in San Diego. In both game, punters crushed the spirits of the evil teams and therefore they are my heroes.

Now it's time to root for the Vikings to knock out the Eagles. Shit. Their punter, Chris Kluwe, is goddamn awful and single-footedly responsible for losing a few games for his team. He *does* have the strange surname though, so there's still a chance!

(Maybe I should change Suzette's last name to Graedhe...)

On the comic front, tonight the first regular update will happen. Yay! I have four strips finished and ready for scanning, so no stress tonight! The next strips I draw will feature the new Roddy. It shall be magnificent!

Impromptu football live-blogging edit: Kluwe's first punt resulted in EPIC FAIL. Spell your name right, jerk. You are not deserving of the scrabble-draw name!

Re-edit: Game over and I blame the punter for the loss. Go back to playing WoW, Kluwe. You stink worse than a hungover orc.

It's time to declare Sundays non-canon

First: Here's the Roddy sketch I hinted at before. The expression is kinda blah, but I've been mindlessly crafting this sketch for two days now so I figured it deserved to be finished and posted.

Now, the ranting: What do you do when you've got massive momentum, have played all the hardest games on your schedule with great success, have not yet committed a turnover on offense and have one of the worst teams in history coming into your home stadium this week? If you're the Redskins, you MAKE MY SOUL HURT! I am too involved in football, man. This stuff can ruin my whole day.

Today was a "fuck it" day from the start. I had a dream in which I was visiting Andrew in some random place he was living while I was doing some cross-country trip, or something like that. Most notable: Dude had giant collection of candy! Wherever he was working used to sell candy but decided the demand wasn't high enough and let him take home the full candy rack. Dude was being sort of a dick in not letting me take all the candy I wanted. Listen, bro, if you have a bin of PEACH RINGS there will be no stopping me!

So I woke up with a a natural peach ring craving. Feeling like shit, and without any available drugs to go for a Hollywood style personal downfall, I decided to play the pitiful self-destructive role via food. I went back to Martins to grad my peach rings - in you FACE, Andrew! - and some TV dinners, since cooking for myself is a bitch due to my kitchen being gutted. As is is my habit, I hit up Chipotle for the scrumptious and waist-widening goodness. On the way I had to drive by two crosswalks. Each time the shopper decided to let me go instead, which is incorrect. The second time, I waved a woman through. She gestured for me to go, as she was waiting for her meandering child to get back to her. Naturally, the kid returned as soon as I went forward and dove into the crosswalk. Criminy. In line at Chipotle, a chattering couple in front of me really confused the staff, meaning their normally-efficient machine was working slightly off pace. I finished this up with an embarrassing verbal flub. Whatever, at least I had a "BURRITO!" and peach rings. Once home, self-destructive indulgences were a go!

THEY FOLDED MY BURRITO WRONG! This meant that when I got home I bit into my burrito to find a level of veggies, then a level of chicken, then a level of rice and finally a level of sour cream. Seriously, that's just cruel to a shut-in who is scared to leave his house like me. I may never leave home again after this disappointment.

Oh yeah... My "guaranteed fresh" peach rings were stale as well.

As I move to post this, I am about to lose my football consolation prize thanks to the Cardinals defense decided to take a nap with two minutes to go. There's still time for the Cowboys to lose, but today...

You know what, let's do a play by play:

-Dallas completes a long pass and clocks the ball with three seconds left just out of FG range.
-But wait! A Cardinal was INJURED AND UNABLE TO GET OFF THE FIELD! This means an offsides penalty by default!
-The Cardinals BLOCK THE KICK AND WIN THE GAME!
-But wait! The Cardinals coach called a time out to ice the kicker, blowing his own team's victory.
-The kick is good! Overtime!
-Cowboys win the coin toss, of course.
-Oh, and I just noticed the 49ers collapsed, giving the Eagles a win. Fuck.
-Back to the game: SACK! FUMBLE! Romo recovers, so fuck him.
-Romo throws to the receiver in the first row in the stands for a while, so they must punt.
-THE PUNT IS BLOCKED! TD! CARDINALS WIN!
-But wait! There's a penalty!
-It's on the... COWBOYS?! Holy shit. The win stands! FUCK YOU, DALLAS!

I still won't be happy until the Giants get destroyed by my Browns. (HA!) Hey, the game is on Monday, so today's fuckly nature might not affect it!

One more complaint: The makers of iTunes need to be raped with cacti in every orifice. The "upgrade" seems to have been designed to force PC uses to switch over by MAKING ITUNES NEXT TO USELESS!