Your webcartoonist has evolved!

When writing the most recent news post in the site, I wrote the line in the title. I quickly deleted it, but the thought got in my head. "What kind of Pokemon would I be?" I had to find out!

And so began a sage of putting too much thought into something silly! The sketchbook came out and the ideas started flowing. As an intense Pokemon player and insane nerd, I put a lot of care into all the little details. The result...

Meet Pokemon Chrispy!



The first step in Pokemon creation was choosing my type. I quickly settled on dark, as it both fits with my sense of humor and reflects on my tendency to harp on the negative.

Next up, I needed to figure out what form my Pokemon would take. I figured a kitty pokemon fit best because I wuv kitties, I draw kitties and, well, it meant my evolution could be based on a Savannah cat! (See below.) It all fits!

And now the over-analysis begins. I got conceptual. What kind of Pokemon role player would I be? Well, I'm a impulsive type who can do wonders when I get going - but I'm hardly durable. Hitting me back hard makes me crumble. It seems obvious to me - a glass cannon Special attack sweeper! I hit the battlefield, throw everything I have at the opponent and hope to hell they don't survive it, because one good hit will do me in.

Now for some details. Every pokemon gets a nature and special ability. For nature, I chose to go with timid. Not only is that me, but in-game, that means I get increased speed at the cost of physical strength - it's the most common nature of actual special attack sweepers! For ability, I knew this one going in: Defeatist. Not a positive reflection of me, but recently accurate. In-game, this a pokemon with a defeatist ability is a juggernaut - right up until things get difficult. If their HP gets reduced below halfway, the pokemon "gives up" and only fights half as hard. A pokemon can also carry a held item. I could pessimist here and give myself a ring target, which means every attack always hits me, but I'm going to highlight my potential and give myself some wise glasses, which slightly powers up my attacks. (Plus, yanno, I'm wearing glasses.)

What moves would I have for the unevolved Chrispy? He's a dark type, so he needs a dark move. Night Daze seemed the best fit, due to the general sleep cycle of a cartoonist. I also threw in Nasty Plot for good measure, which is perfect for the wannabe looking to break through to top tiers. I'm an artist, so it seems only right I get to use the move Sketch. (The bonus here being that, in competitive pokemon battling, me having sketch and decent base stats would make me highly sought after! It's nice to be desired!) Finally, I had to go with the move I use the most in real life: Withdraw. Withdraw boosts one's defense up one level - which is useless for a defeatist pokemon as all it means is that the opponent gets one free turn to disable you. So, yeah, it fits.

But this isn't all about sadness and sucking. I SAID I EVOLVED, DAMMIT! I've become new! I've become better! I've become... Chrisperior!

This grand evolution adds on a new type: Fire! Because I'm on fire! Get it? Get it? Uh... moving on.

I get new moves! Energy Ball not only symbolizes my new productivity, but it is a GREAT move for a dark/fire type pokemon! Overheat utilizes the new fire typing and hints at how easily I could burn myself out if I push too hard too fast, as the move sharply reduces my stats after I use it. Focus blast is another great competitive move that can also represent my struggle with ADHD. Focus blast gets the job done great... when it hits. It's, unfortunately, not that reliable. Yeah, that fits.

It's time upgrade my held item from one set of glasses to another. Enter the choice specs, which limits you to one move but makes that move super-powerful. Let's face it, that's my best-case scenario as a cartoonist. I'm not that versatile. If I can make sure the one thing I *can* do is done well, that's a win for me.

I'll let the defeatist nature stay for now, as the threat of relapse constantly looms. Knowing how quickly things can turn south, even when one is the Mary Sue of the Pokemon world, can hopefully keep alert. The second I start slacking off and taking things for granted, the bad habits get back in. There is another ability options, should a dream world Chrispy appear: Moody. Moody means I'd have wild mood (stat) swings every turn. Good for painting me as unstable, yet functional, but it's also a WAY overpowered ability in the long run when game play is concerned. I'm not that conceited to give myself any credit like that quite yet.

So, yeah, I put in WAY too much thought here and spent WAY too much time on this one gag. Whatever, man. It was a fun thought exercise and I'm quite pleased with the results.