Saturday, August 22, 2009


Yes, that's right. Three iPods, one iPhone. And I'm still typing this post on a PC.

I've previously documented my ongoing struggle to play my music. The struggle continues, with dysfunctional absurdity. I have a player and four devices it can play - all of which fail to meet my needs fully! Let us review!

Black iPod: My first iPod. My baby! 8gigs of love and music, it has served me well over the years. Now, like me, it is old and breaking down. Its screen is busted, meaning it only works about 10% of the time, if that. You can imagine the frustration involved in this, with me constantly resetting and rebooting the bugger in hopes I see text and not a squiggly blue line. And there's still the problem if my player not charging the nanos! Bah, I can fix THAT!

Enter the iPhone: I hate to say it, but this thing really is amazing. Never before in my life have I kept a calendar, yet it's so easy to do it now! I love the little beep I get when an email arrives! I love having it all in one nice device. Heck, I don't even mind that there's a pesky phone involved as well. These have all been plusses, but what I really wanted was that upgraded, chargable iPod! Hey, I needed a new phone too.

So what's the problem here? Gravity. Why on earth did a device designed for iPhones not factor in that iPhones are HEAVIER than iPods? (iAm getting sick of doing this iCapitalization already.) This means the connection with the player is tenuous at best. I have to remove the bottom of my protective case and use it as to prop the player up. Even better, this is a 3gs, which is just different enough from the 3g to make the phone whine that the device is too foreign and scary. (It whines, but it plays fine.) Ok, so I can prop it up. Good enough. That's when the vibrate option comes in, shaking the phone just enough to silence it. The solution is simple: TURN OFF VIBRATE - but I'm lazier than that. Here comes the next solution!

Red iPod: This was a holiday gift to me by my former employer, with a spiffy logo and color! Problem was, it's only 4 gigs. I stuck with my double-sized friend at work and regifted the player to my littler brother. Years go by, and I'm showing off my iPod player to him at my grandparents' house. I tell him the story of my busted screen and he whips out old reddie here. Since *he* also has an iPhone now, he had no use for it anymore. Reregifting ensues! Well, it works - but now I can only put half my playlists on the bugger. The iPhone has 32 gigs! Oh, whatever. Red is easier. I just wish there was a way to get my other playlists....

Silver iPod: My other brother, the sleazebag jerkoff of the family, managed to scam a 4 gig iPod out of my softie of a mother when they went to buy my first iPod. (Chrispmas gift.) My bro, lacking in both sense and brains, naturally put his player through the wash a few times and killed it. Unfazed, he simple started borrow players from other people, leaving his dead iPod with me.

A long time went by before I found this iCorpse again. I was cleaning and found it in a bin of spare change. It had been a long time since the accident, so I gave it a shot and threw it in the charger. Whaddaya know, it worked! I guess it finally dried out at some point. Do I give this iPod back to my brother, who WILL ruin it with his idiotic incompetence, or do I bring this little fellow into my dysfunction iFamily? Yeah, finders keepers.

So that's the story of how I failed my music needs so hard. If the black iPod works, I play it every night until the battery dies. If not, I move to red for a specific playlist, or silver for my umbrella playlists. After two days, I pull them off to charge. When in the mood for something esoteric, the iPhone comes out. I suppose it works, but it sure works in a stupid, stupid way.

I hope you enjoyed my story, because I've worked on the comic all day and I'm too tired to do any painting or sketches tonight. I'll do better tomorrow. (Maybe.)

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