I'LL! (not) MELT! YOUR! BRAINS!

In reply to my decision to go cute wizard in the previous post:



Awwwwwwwww!

(I'll maim him again soon. Don't worry.)

I'm a Wizard Wizard a Wizard Wizard a Wizard MAN!

This is example of a sketch done just so I could use a silly post title. (Which I have likely misquoted.) Due to time constraints, I went with a nice wizard instead of the "electricity shoots from my finger - NAILS!" and Jacob-melting type of wizard. In hindsight, this entire concept wasn't as interesting as I'd hoped.

Edit: Fixed the headline with help of YouTube. One wizard was out of place. I hate when that happens!

Enjoy:

'Tis the holy day

That's right... football day!

Turns out it's a fairly pleasurable experience when your favorite teams are on bye, have already sucked and died this week and are so mutilated by injuries that their losses bring sympathy instead of frustration. I got to watch games where my soul wasn't riding on the outcome, which was nice. It was fun to watch the Ravens curb-stomp the Texans! Rookie QBs and coaches succeeding beyond anyone's wildest expectations? It's more likely than you think. When I tired of the ass-whooping, I switched over to watch the nonsense bowl, as the Packers and Vikings decided traditional scoring was too boring and went for scoreboard variety.

Anywho, a football sketch was spawned. I was tempted to draw Suzette mowing down everyone, but notebook pages can only fit so much. Jacob going flying in a strange pose is Peanuts-inspired and *not* just me avoiding the pressure of drawing weird angles. Just so you know.

Edit: You know, it looks like I forgot to draw pants on Bud. The image takes on a whole new meaning now! (He really *is* my cartoon avatar!)

Troubleshooting

So today I finally had time to sit back and do some work. How did I utilize that time? BY SLEEPING THE DAY AWAY! Those who are not morning people should never only set one alarm. Argh.

Another opening came this afternoon. I had a few tasks to do and then some time to sit around a sketch... and play around on the computer... which crashed... and got all wonky afterwards. The crash disabled my bluetooth capabilities, which meant my mouse was useless and Photoshopping was suddenly quite difficult. As I am using Windows, the "help" section did nothing by tell me what a functioning mouse would do. I then encountered the lovely: "If it's not working, you should already know how to fix it." Clearly, the people who write these help guides are libertarians.

After lots of fruitless Googling - most results advertisements or mac forums - I finally got my way into the device manager. To paraphrase the diagnosis: "This isn't working (error 43)." To paraphrase error 43: "It isn't working." So helpful!

So my bluetooth had been disabled due to the crash freaking out my computer. I click the "fix this" button... which appeared to be a placebo as all it did was trigger a status bar that filled up and disappeared even though nothing else was done. So then I did the radical thing: I disabled the supposedly-disabled program and enabled it again. Victory! To summarize: The crash freaked out my bluetooth, which STOPPED the program but didn't DISABLE it. Such semantics meant all help and connection programs only saw it as enabled and therefore said unkind things about my mother instead of actually helping. Day = wasted. Attitude = grumpy.

So, yeah, here's a sketch of Bud composing at a laptop, since the most I've done today is outline some more Maquette stuff. Yeehaw.

PS: My stolen wi-fi signal is fickle. I can browse around the net if I want, but the *second* I try to do something productive it leaves me with internet blue balls. Grr.

Kick off your boots, come sit a spell...

"...Listen to me worry, come and listen well."

So I haven't been able to get much done for myself here so far. See, I am here to help out my grandparents and *not* myself. Usually, there is lots of nap taking and down time, meaning I can get some stuff done for me in addition to doing my duty. This time...

Since my grandfather got sick, he has not once come down to see me when I visited. My interaction with him has always been taking him his food and checking in occasionally. (He usually only had enough strength for a minute or two of conversation anyway.) For *this* visit, dude has been up and about! He's come downstairs for every single meal! That's awesome!

It's also quite sobering. All his life, he's been very good at making it seem like everything's fine with him, whether he knew what was going on or not. He'd pretend to know about topics when he didn't. When his hearing began to fade, he'd say just enough to make you think he knew what was going on. Now that he has Alzheimer's, his old habits can still fool you. So maybe he was able to throw me off previously when I was just visiting for a minute or two. Now that he's up and about (relatively) I can see him when the guard comes down. He plays along, but gets tripped up. Seeing what was supposed to be an invincible man show weakness really can get to you.

Side story: When I got here, I met his hospice nurse as she left. She was very sweet and everyone loves her. Her name starts with an A. When I visited granddad later, I complimented him on how healthy he looked. He explained he was squeaky clean from his bath. I remarked that I'd briefly met his caretaker and that she seemed sweet. Then I turned to him and said something along the lines of, "Oh shoot, I've already forgotten her name. I hate when that happens!" Classy, Chrispy.

On the other end of the spectrum is my grandmother, who is wickedly smart and one of the most interesting people anyone could ever know. We've been talking quite a lot - politics, social issues and ye olde family tales - with the conversations going for hours. It's very enriching...but time consuming! She's *also* feeling better, so extra rest time is no longer required. In true elderly bliss, she tripped yesterday - and managed to do the old "break into a job while regaining one's balance" thing. This is a HUGE DEAL when one is 83 and has a bad knee. Everyone's energized!

Is it just a precious moment when things are bright - or is it the presence of hospice? They only come twice a week, but they take care of the difficult tasks. Without the strain, both grandparents are doing better. It's lovely and wonderful that I still have time to connect with her and just be there for him - BUT HOW AM I TO GET ANY DAMN ART DONE!?

Eh, I'll trade my productivity for their vitality any day.

(opening lines cribbed from Natalie Merchant)

My webcam is sad

My scanner is now hooked up to my laptop! I may still get nothing accomplished in DC, but at least I'll do it with the same technology at home! Yes, I know the DC trip is not to be seen as an artist's getaway, but I am hoping to become an expert multitasker!

On another note, I love Photoshop. Not only can I clean up my scanned sketches, but I can also fix proportion errors made in the drawing! Both these figures were drawn far too tall, but would you have known if I hadn't pointed it out? Yay, technology!

Yes We Can !!!

(click the image to see the full-sized version)

If I was good with celebratory sketches, this would have gone up last night, but I was, um, *cough* celebrating into the wee hours of the morning. Like a true party nerd, I was furiously typing messages over IM and Facebook while knocking back croranges in my frorc house! (If you don't understand, you never will.) It was the most social activity I've had in years.

So now I've crawled out of bed (feeling great, btw) just in time to crawl back in it again. Not a bad way to spend a day!

Tomorrow I'm traveling to DC again. As long as I can hijack an internet connection down there, I will keep on posting here from my laptop. If not, well, now you know why. I'll be back home on Tuesday.

Things are looking up!

I think what I like best about this sketch is how SLOPPY this horrible pun is! Does it even make sense? I mean, if Suzette perceives that she may be labeled as a "thing" then there will be blood! Best of all: The copyright information placed *just so* to muddle the idea even more. SPECTACULAR FAIL!

Also...check out the arrogance in posting this before any election returns are in! Look, barring MASSIVE election fraud, Obama has this thing. But with the last two elections...

You know what? Fuck it! I have been a cynic through this entire election cycle and I'm going to let myself get carried away for now. Heck, as I typed that last sentence I just sent my brother out to buy me celebratory booze. (My first liquor purchase in about... two years... wow.)

I may eat my words later, but at least I'll be drunk. Alcohol always gives me the munchies and all I have here are rice cakes. My words are scrumptious!

Today's the big day!

DO IT!

Cranial Concrete

What a way to start November, huh? My mind has been so blank these past few days I couldn't even put up FILLER in good conscience. This has been highly frustrating.

Me and productivity rarely coincide as is, thanks to my brain being wired in an amazingly specific way to negate all my best qualities. Oh, and I'm also hardwired to struggle mightily with any alternate (er, normal, that is) life paths. Basically, I'm wired to fail. Pure force of will alone is how I made it as far as I have. (Have I made it anywhere?) Problem is, I have to actively fight to keep myself even mildly useful - which leaves me vulnerable when life gets fuckly bad. Recent events have worn me down to nothing, which is quite frustrating.

My house is a construction site, which is detrimental in several ways. The constant banging has brutalized my sleep pattern, which is never good for anyone. The lack of a kitchen means I am living out of a microwave now, which sucks. Having the only working appliances as well as the utility stuff nearby means constant invasion of my personal space. (Let's face it, I'm borderline agoraphobic, so this stuff is a big deal.) I cannot get peace here and the constant invasion of people and sounds is starting to severely affect me.

This blog is very useful because the post-a-day goal forces me to have visual proof that I did something positive. Recently, I've been focusing on my writing. I want to create a thorough outline of Maquette so that, if I die unexpectedly, there will be enough there for someone else to take my story and complete it for me. (Note: I am not planning on dying anytime in the next millennium, but I need *something* to force me to put stories that exist entirely in my brain down in real form.) By working on painting in addition to the writing, I had something to show off!

Well, the environment and creative block finally set in with painting. Without something to show, I am just this delusional wistful artist wasting his life on a project no one will ever care about. To make matters worse: My crappy painting skills extend to drawing. For years I would sketch for hours a day. As of late, sitting down to draw feels absolutely foreign. I'm going to chalk it up to the environment finally getting to me, because if my brain was imploding for good that would be far too depressing.

Anyway, the goal of this post was to apologize. I'm not apologizing for my lack of posting her as much as I am apologizing for being a crappy person in this past month. While I've struggled to create, I've increasingly isolated myself. To all my friends I've ignored in that time, I'm really sorry. I've been a wretch and you are so awesome that I'd hate to bring you down with me. Here's to hoping this whiny dirge has been enough blather to get the frustrations out of my brain.